COMMUNITY VOICES | Become one of the helpers in the wake of political violence
"I think we can choose together to stay soft. We can become the helpers that Mr. Fred Rogers (and his mother) recommended we look for in tragedies," writes Nora Hertel.
I often joke that I’m a recovering political reporter. I covered legislatures in Wisconsin, South Dakota, and Minnesota.
It got ugly at times. And I burned out from the criticism, the cynicism, and the division.
As a balm for myself and my community, I created Project Optimist. We’re not alone. There are so many organizations that work to combat the widespread polarization and isolation of our time.
Yet the violence of last weekend shook my faith and likely others’. Faith in the goodness of humanity. Faith that conversations, stories, and gatherings can bring people back together. Faith that a tender heart conveys more strength than harmful words and actions.
I think we can choose together to stay soft. We can become the helpers that Mr. Fred Rogers (and his mother) recommended we look for in tragedies.
This is the part where I must recap the horrible violence that took place over the weekend, in case you haven’t heard it. Former Minnesota House Speaker Melissa Hortman, a Democrat, and her husband Mark were shot to death in their home early Saturday morning. Officials called it targeted political violence. Another DFL lawmaker and his wife were also shot. And the suspect allegedly visited the homes of other elected officials.
We don’t cover politics directly at Project Optimist, and we work hard to highlight the positive side of the news including community-based solutions and helpers. We also host conversations meant to bring people together across differences. For that reason, and because I knew Hortman as a source, I want to address what happened to her directly.
First, I’m sad. My heart hurts. My stomach is upside down. I am so sorry for the family and friends and colleagues of the victims.
Second, I’m afraid. I worry this will beget more violence and more harmful rhetoric.
The incident has already been met with an outpouring of grief and condemnation. It was also met with disinformation and posts that seemingly made light of it – both propagated via social media.
Jen Zettel-Vandenhouten
Even for those of us with relatively benign social media feeds, I encourage everyone to interrupt the doomscroll. In “The Anxious Generation,” Jonathan Haidt talks about how our phone-based lives have spurred spiritual degradation. Rather than compassion and connection, online spaces often encourage comparison and judgement.
My own spiritual journey follows the Buddhist path. In the last year I returned many times to Pema Chödrön’s book “Practicing Peace in Times of War.” A key takeaway is to keep your heart soft, rather than harden it for self protection or retaliation.
“There is a teaching that says that behind all hardening and tightening and rigidity of the heart, there’s always fear. But if you touch fear, behind fear there is a soft spot,” Chödrön writes. “And if you touch that soft spot, you find the vast blue sky.”
Spending time beneath the vast blue sky and in other natural spaces is another balm in times of tragedy.
Our staff revisited Julia Hotz’s “The Connection Cure,” while reflecting on the Hortmans’ untimely deaths.
Here are some suggestions from the book to help with grief and constructive engagement:
- Get outside. There is peace and healing for us in nature.
- Get together with others, in service or in search of belonging.
- Move your body.
- Create something beautiful.
If you need help finding a way to get involved, you’re welcome to join us at Project Optimist. Check out the bridging work of Braver Angels and Majority in the Middle. Look close to home for great work by the Initiative Foundation and its sister organizations, and local nonprofits like The Sowing Room.
The Hortmans' children released a statement Monday encouraging people to treat others with respect and get involved to honor their parents’ memory.
They wrote: “The best way to honor our parents’ memory is to do something, whether big or small, to make our community just a little better for someone else.”
This column was edited by Jen Zettel-Vandenhouten.